My Greatest Tool in College: Procrastinators and Night Owls Rejoice!

By Uloop Contributor on August 27, 2013

photo via tumblr

There’s this joke about entering college and earning good grades, having a social life, and getting sleep. Sleep and good grades, no social life. Sleep and a social life, bad grades. Good grades and a social life, no sleep. I’m a sleeping nerd, I need these grades and I like meeting new people, so these are unacceptable conditions.

Well, I’m here to tell you that you can have it all. Oh yes, my fellow college mates. But in order for this to work, you need to be willing to give up your life and sell your soul to the Devil.

That’s actually a joke, this is totally healthy (with a cramped neck and back every now and again but if you have a loving girl/boyfriend or an awesome masseur-in-training buddy to ease the physical pain, then nothing will stop you.)

WARNING: Tips in this article are only helpful for your sleeping habits. This is not guaranteed to make you popular or get A’s in your classes. That comes from hard work and dedication. You should know that.

If you don’t care for how it works, then just scroll down and find the “BOTTOM LINE.” Your answer’s waiting.

Let’s begin: Sleep cycles.

On average, college students need about seven and a half to nine hours of sleep. But our trick in having all three aspects of college is to have the minimum yet optimal amount of sleep so that you can still study for the most amount of time, polish that paper and make it sparkle like a girl’s best friend and still make it to the party on westside that weekend. So how do I do it?

Short answer: Sleepyti.me the bedtime calculator.

The way it works is by counting backwards from what time you need to be up by calculating what time you should be asleep in order for you to wake up refreshed. The magic is in one and a half hours. Every ninety minutes, you go through a sleep cycle, just one stage, but in that stage you go through stages of REM and non-REM sleep. Here’s what happens, according to helpguide.org:

photo via helpguide.org

You typically go through this 90-minute cycle four to six times to achieve the right amount of sleep. According to the site:

“The amount of time you spend in each stage of sleep changes as the night progresses. For example, most deep sleep occurs in the first half of the night. Later in the night, your REM sleep stages become longer, alternating with light Stage 2 sleep. This is why if you are sensitive to waking up in the middle of the night, it is probably in the early morning hours, not immediately after going to bed.”

So the way sleepyti.me calculates your bedtime is by getting you to wake up at the end of each cycle. That’s the time when you’re most able to wake up without feeling groggy and feeling rested enough to begin your day pleasantly (though you’re body gets less repair work the less time you sleep, but in college, you need more brains than brawn, so don’t worry about it.)

Now how does this all apply? It’s not the quantity of hours you sleep, it’s the quality.

The BOTTOM LINE is if you’re gonna sleep less than seven and a half hours, then sleep six, four and a half, three, and if you’re ballsy and really desperate, then one and a half hours. But the last option is only if you’re incredibly desperate because sometimes, I’ve never been able to wake up after only one cycle, so don’t let that happen, it’s too risky. That also means don’t squeeze as many arbitrary hours out as you can, it’ll be harder to wake up and get to your class in time to turn it in if you try to get four, five hours or seven hours, since those are all in the middle of a cycle. Use your time wisely. Make sure you use those precious early morning hours to really improve your paper.

NEVER DO THIS BEFORE A FINAL. You need as much brain power as you can get before a big exam so don’t risk that. Everything else, juice those late night writing skills you’ve got and reward yourself with a big fat trip to that house downtown for the Roaring Twenties themed party. You’ll have earned it.

 

Reminder: You should do this only when you need it, like the night before a paper is due and you decided that this party so close to the due date is absolutely unmissable, but be smart and use those last two to three days to work on your paper. Just make time for friends and parties after its over. Another example would be that you’d rather do it in one go and stay up all night. If you’re a procrastinator, as I am guilty of sometimes, this method is also foolproof (don’t actually be foolish and wait until the very day to start a ten-page paper, that’s just suicide). It’s not like there’s a party every night, plus your awesome buddies and housemates also have school and work to do so you have no excuse to not be sleeping those seven and a half to nine hours every regular night. You should be working relatively hard on the weekdays, going to class, hanging with your friends at lunch and then making sure you get your work done and go to bed at a reasonable time so that you can score those hours in time for class the next day so that your brain functions properly.

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