13 Ways to Piss Off Your Roommate

By Robert Lustig on February 26, 2013

It’s the middle of the year. At first you were best friends. Now, you want to kill each other. Who do I speak of? Your roommate. Here is a list of several creative ways to drive your roommate crazy.

1. Remember that pet snake you have always wanted? Get it.

2. Whenever he or she is going to the bathroom, yell, “Fire in the hole!”

3. Order 42 extra large pizzas in your roommate’s name.

4. Learn how to play the bagpipes.

5. Play any song by Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, or Rihanna on said bagpipes.

6. Talk like a pirate.

7. Have a party…on a Tuesday.

8. Have a stripper at the party.

9. Have the stripper be their sister.

10. Place milk and cookies out for Santa (in the middle of March).

11a. Learn to juggle.

11b. Juggle your roommate’s cat along with two bowling balls and a machete.

12. Do all of the above while playing a kazoo.

13. Same as earlier, but at 3 o’clock in the morning.

WARNING: BE PREPARED FOR ACTS OF REVENGE

 

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